SIMPLY FOCUS Podcast

SFP 23 – Episode 23: What directions do you choose in your conversations? –  A face-to-face dialogue with Dr. Peter de Jong, Professor of Social Work, Emeritus

Simply Focus Podcast – Episode #23

Hosted by: Elfie Czerny & Dominik Godat | Intro: Bibiana Czerny | Music: www.bensound.com 

SFP 23 - Episode 23: What directions do you choose in your conversations? - A face-to-face dialogue with Dr. Peter de Jong

by Elfie Czerny & Dominik Godat | Simply Focus Podcast | 35:41

“And the model in a sense was invented by putting in a one way mirror, looking at the interactions, paying attention for when clients make progress and what secondarily the practitioner might do to be useful. And in that process they paid more and more attention to what clients said because the clients who made progress where the clients who were able to develop a very clear picture of a preferred future and once they had that they had ideas about how to go about making that happen. And I think what microanalysis does, it puts you right in that dialogue.”

“I think the key point is that when you take it into the practice world the practitioner’s response is so important, it’s influential. It takes the client in a certain direction by selecting or listening to a piece to focus on and then asking the other person to build on that.”

“What part am I going to listen to? Because what part you pick out and respond to, says to the other person what you think is important in what they said.”

Dr. Peter de Jong

Show Notes

In today’s episode, we talk with Dr. Peter de Jong, Professor of Social Work Emeritus, LMSW, author and former adjunct at the Brief Family Therapy Center in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, where solution focused practices first were developed, about

  • his book “Interviewing for Solutions” he wrote with Insoo Kim Berg
  • what fascinates him about Solution Focus
  • what changed for Peter since he was introduced to microanalysis
  • the learnings and applications of microanalysis
  • what he is listening for in a conversation
  • the three-step dance of calibration or how conversations are being built between the participants
  • the relevance of microanalysis for practitioners
  • topic selection and how what we choose of the clients’ words directs the conversation
  • intentional listening and how the way we listen influences the conversation
  • how clients tend to follow where the practitioner goes and hence the importance of choosing useful focuses
  • his fondest memories with Steve de Shazer and Insoo Kim Berg in terms of listening and privileging the client’s voice
  • The challenge of the week: “Listen to someone about something that isn’t going right, or a problem or a concern. Be quiet, let the person tell the story, and listen to the story with the intention to give the person three compliments.”
  • how to formulate compliments with the focus of “What do they care about?” and hints of what they have already done

 

Resources

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Inspiring conversations, an enjoyable improv theatre evening at Second City and a great learning experience at CCBC’s Brieffest Train-the-Trainer summer intensive in Toronto!

Join the conversation

Friendpower is stronger than willpower. So, let’s inspire each other! Share with Peter and us your ideas and thoughts on what inspired you, how the challenge of the week is going for you and what differences all this makes for you in your everyday life.Share as much detail as possible. Your story might be the one making a vital difference for someone else. Your thoughts and ideas matter and might encourage others to keep on going their SF journey. Share this podcast episode with your friends, clients or colleagues who you think might be inspired by this conversation. It could give them some practical ideas on how to apply Solution Focus in their daily life.

Thank you!

Thank you for listening to our podcast. You are awesome! That you listen to our podcast makes a huge difference for us. Please let us know and get in touch with us: Comment below or send us a message and tell us what difference our podcast series makes for you. And please share our podcast with others that might benefit from it and give us an honest rating at iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and we read each and every single one. You really support our show with that as this will make it more likely that other people will find the SIMPLY FOCUS podcast and benefit.

13 Comments

  1. Anitissima

    Love you all 🙌❤!
    Thanks for the great work!

    Reply
      • Annie Bordeleau

        There are so many treasures in each interview and I love the way each highly skilled interviewee describes how they see SF. Fascinating! Thank you so much and keep it up, I hope you will continue this beautiful journey for us all.

        Reply
  2. Annie Bordeleau

    There are so many treasures in each interview and I love the way each highly skilled interviewee describes how they see SF. Fascinating! Thank you so much and I hope you plan to continue this beautiful journey for us all 😀

    Reply
  3. Svea van der Hoorn

    Lovely to listen on a morning with the sun rising to connecting the map with the territory. Principles and practices connected through the lens of rigorous curiosity. Enjoyed being able to surf along with Peter de Jong’s stream of description. Particular appreciations:
    1. Thank you for the expansion around grounding and calibration.
    2. Specifications around listening – a word used in so many varied ways that it’s almost become a word that invites misunderstanding rather than shared meaning.
    3. Links to the resources – so we can explore some more – easily and quickly.

    Reply
    • SF on Tour mit Elfie Czerny & Dominik Godat

      Wow, thank you, dear Svea. This sounds like a lovely morning. We are with you in our imagination, drinking a coffee or tea with you…hmmmm. And isn’t that amazing how clear and precise, so that people can understand it, Peter describes calibration and listening or topic choice?

      Reply
  4. Paul Z Jackson

    Great episode, with lovely balance of stories and analytical detail.

    I notice it’s tightly edited: how do you remove the gaps, ums and repetitions?

    Reply
    • SF on Tour mit Elfie Czerny & Dominik Godat

      Thank you dear Paul. We loved the balance between stories, e.g. the one with Steve “absorbing what the client said”, and the analytical details, e.g. the clear and very precise description of calibration, too. To edit our podcasts we use audacity. Peter made it easy for us with his clear and precise language.

      Reply
  5. Wei H

    Amazing work ! Thank you Elffie and Dominik sharing your interviewing with Dr.Peter De Jong. It is like a beautiful recap of the training I had in June. Thank you for doing this great work to spread out the SF spirit to the world!

    Reply
  6. Ella de Jong

    Well said Annie, I couldn’t agree more!

    I remember how I’ve ‘done’ the exercise in a training by Peter in Amsterdam, years ago.
    I thought well: now I know how it works after two of the three attendees of my group had told their ‘negative story’. They got their compliments of course also from me and they liked it a lot. I thought it wasn’t necessary to do it one more time and make me receive the compliments. They thought differently and I told them my frustrating moment of the day, my “I do this all wrong, every day again!”-story.
    Gosh was I wrong!! Gosh were they right!!
    One of the best, I think even the best SF experience I’ve had in a training!!

    This was also a huge eye opener for me regarding training activities. When they are good, it’s important that EVERYONE experiences how it FEELS …
    So now I add to that Peters words : “slowing it down”
    Thank you again Dominik and Elfie (and Bibliana!!)

    Reply

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Listen to more Simply Focus Podcast episodes:

SFP 24 – Being in Love with Love: Interview with Elliott Connie

SFP 24 – Being in Love with Love: Interview with Elliott Connie

SFP 23 – What directions do you choose in your conversations? – A face-to-face dialogue with Dr. Peter de Jong

SFP 23 – What directions do you choose in your conversations? – A face-to-face dialogue with Dr. Peter de Jong

SFP 22 – Energized: Interview with Bob Faw about energizing ourselves and others

SFP 22 – Energized: Interview with Bob Faw about energizing ourselves and others

SFP 21 – Living in Sunday Right Away: Interview with Laura Cole about her first three weeks with SF

SFP 21 – Living in Sunday Right Away: Interview with Laura Cole about her first three weeks with SF

SFP 20 – Frog or Forever Recognize Other’s Greatness: Interview with Brenda Zalter-Minden

SFP 20 – Frog or Forever Recognize Other’s Greatness: Interview with Brenda Zalter-Minden

SFP 19 – At the Round Table with Alan Kay: Solution Focused Applications

SFP 19 – At the Round Table with Alan Kay: Solution Focused Applications

SFP 18 – Learning together: Teaching Solution Focus at Brieffest with Bo Yon Koh and Haesun Moon

SFP 18 – Learning together: Teaching Solution Focus at Brieffest with Bo Yon Koh and Haesun Moon

SFP 17 – In Tune with Solution Focus: Interview with Dr. Bo Yon Koh

SFP 17 – In Tune with Solution Focus: Interview with Dr. Bo Yon Koh

SFP 16 – Celebrating one year on the road with Elfie Czerny & Dominik Godat & Bibiana

SFP 16 – Celebrating one year on the road with Elfie Czerny & Dominik Godat & Bibiana

SFP 15 – Inspiring others again: A reflection with Elfie Czerny & Dominik Godat

SFP 15 – Inspiring others again: A reflection with Elfie Czerny & Dominik Godat

SFP 14 – Inspiring others: A reflection with Elfie Czerny & Dominik Godat

SFP 14 – Inspiring others: A reflection with Elfie Czerny & Dominik Godat

SFP 13 – Solution Focus at Work: Interview with Victor Nelson

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SFP 12 – Interactional Relationships: Interview with Dr. Thorana Nelson

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SFP 11 – Language of Hope: Interview with Haesun Moon

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SFP 10 – Seeing Interaction: Interview with Janet Beavin Bavelas

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SFP 9 – Persistent in being curios: Interview with Dr. Stephen Langer about Solution Focused Brief Therapy

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SFP 8 – Let’s play…: Interview with Pamela K. King

SFP 8 – Let’s play…: Interview with Pamela K. King

SFP 7 – Effective Leadership with Solution Focus: Interview with Monica Rotner

SFP 7 – Effective Leadership with Solution Focus: Interview with Monica Rotner

SFP 6 – Solution Focused Listening

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SFP 5 – The GREAT relationship: Interview with Jonathan D. Sherman

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SFP 4 – The art of asking great Solution Focused questions

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SFP 3 – Solution Focus makes a difference

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