(Hier geht’s zum deutschen Adventskalender >>)


Listen deliberately

“What part am I going to listen to? Because what part you pick out and respond to, says to the other person what you think is important in what they said.” – Peter de Jong


In a conversation today when someone is talking with you about something that isn’t going right, or a problem or a concern, listen to the person: Be quiet, let the person tell the story, and listen to the story with the intention to give the person three compliments.”


Peter de Jong shared this challenge with us in episode 23 “What directions do you choose in your conversations?” of the SIMPLY FOCUS podcast. We met Peter in July at the Brieffest Train-the-Trainer days of the Canadian Center for Brief Coaching and at the beginning of November at the SFBTA conference in Boulder, Colorado. His work around microanalysis of face-to-face dialogue excites and inspires us again and again. And his generous, warm and appreciative way of interacting with us and others has been touching us and has had sustainable effects on our SF on Tour journey as well as on our work.

You can listen to the full podcast here >>. For the challenge of the week please go to minute 31:39. Starting at minute 32:57 Peter additionally shares some clues on how to formulate compliments with the focus of “What do they care about?” and hints of what they have already done.


Listen to the SIMPLY FOCUS podcast here!